Monday 30 September 2024

        The call of nature                                        



I'm sat on the loo,

Answering the call!

It's all peace and quiet,

Out in the hall.


Then...............


Bang,bang bang,

Knocks on the wood.

Granddaughter's there,

And she's up to no good


Thump, thump, thump,

She wants to come in,

I'll be out in a minute,

I say with a grin.


I'm feeling quite safe,

She can't reach the handle,

No matter how much,

She thumps with that sandal!


Big sister is talking,

Grandma's having a poo!

Do you want to go in,

Do you feel the need too?


My heart gives a thump,

Oh dear this is bad!

The door slowly opens,

And round creeps a hand!


In she toddles,

A grin on her lips,

She stands quite near me,

With her hands on her hips.


My husband hears,

My shout and my cry,

In he runs,

And swings her up high!


He shuts up the door,

And laughs as he goes,

Better get on now,

I think, I suppose.


But oh, woe is me.

For now I'm alone

The urge has quite passed!

The moment has flown!


So I exit the room,

Go wash my hands,

Smile at the children,

Such cute little lambs!

Thursday 11 April 2024

Instagram Woes

I'm a happy old lady,

Often stuck in my house.

I don't harm anyone,

Quiet as a mouse.


But my hobby, you see,

Is causing me grief,

I like entering comps,

And I'm fed up to the teeth!


Why you may ask,

What's going wrong?

Instagram, that's what!

For so very long.


I partake of my hobby,

Nothing new there.

You're banned – again.

I read with a glare.


But why, what did I do?

I'm just having fun,

But Instagram says,

I'm jumping the gun!


My comment is spam,

I'm garnering likes,

But really all I want

Is to win those there bikes!


I'm following the rules,

But still I get banned.

My innocent comments,

Are frequently canned!


For days, sometimes weeks,

I can't like and follow

Cos Instagram says so

It brings me such sorrow!


Come on Instagram,

Sort yourself out!

You're stopping our fun,

While spammers still spout.


All I want,

Today and tomorrow,

Is to enjoy my hobby

Without any sorrow.


Please take heed,

Of this simple verse,

Sort out your bots,

Before things get much worse!


For if you don't,

People will vote with their feet.

And go over to X,

To follow, compete.


And then Instagram will die

Because no one is left!

We'll all be happy,

While you are bereft!